I am not a writer. I process life verbally. I talk and talk and as I talk, life makes sense. So how is it I find myself far from those I talk with over coffee or a beer, sitting alone with pen and journal? What is God up to? That seems to be the question of the day - everyday. I have no answer. I am walking a path I have never walked before. I do not know what each day with my mom will bring. As much as I have been seeking to walk hand in hand with God, I have let these challenging circumstances distance me from God. God is out there doing stuff and I am here trying to figure out what He is doing. time to stop analyzing and trying to "fix" things and get back in step with God.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Having walked this same road of caregiving, I can so identify the questions of what God is up! Being with God will quiet the questions some, but mostly, you will know the sweet companioning of the One who loves hanging out with you and talking to you. May you find many moments of BEING with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteLinda, Thank you for including us on your journey. Putting these thoughts in writing will be gift to many of us, and hopefully to you, too. Your first entry makes me think of one of my favorite quotes:
ReplyDelete"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Bless you, Beth