The hospice nurse asks mom how her energy is. Nancy reminds mom that she gets to choose how her energy is expended. There is only so much. I am seeing my role in helping mom with that. As I prepare meals, manage medications, keep her water glass full, do laundry, pay bills, answer the phone, run errands, and take care of the day to day stuff, mom is able to enjoy dinner on the balcony, a visit from a friend, an evening of TV, and whatever else she chooses to do.
I, too, have only so much energy for each day. some of it is expended in grief work - consciously and subconsciously! some is expended walking or riding my bike - somehow that doesn't deplete me but keeps me going!! I am learning to manage my energy better and am enjoying this quieter pace. I have the energy I need to be with mom, laugh with her and enjoy each day.
Last night we were under a tornado watch. We kept the TV on and watched the radar maps. We were ready to head to the garage if needed - figured we'd grab the brownies and a bottle of wine and sit in the car!! Some places were hit pretty hard by the storms. We had some eerie clouds and wind but not much else. It was interesting to watch the sky, listen to the wind and not be rushing off to a meeting or class hoping to dodge the storm.
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